The LBDDiaries.com Blog

Although I majored in Psychology in college, I did not get the degree and I do not profess to be an expert in anything other than myself.  Sort of, “I’m not a doctor but I play one in this blog.”  So this, being a blog, don’t take anything as a professional discourse – it’s opinion and experience.

I don’t know where I learned about the “IT girl” but I’ve known it all my life.  It’s sort of like today’s “you’re all that.”  But let me allow Wikipedia to explain (and remember it started in 1920′s):

The term was coined by English romance novelist and screenwriter Elinor Glyn to describe actress Clara Bow as she appeared in the 1927 Hollywood silent film It. In the introduction to the film Glyn described the term thus:

“IT” is that quality possessed by some which draws all others with its magnetic force. With “IT” you win all men if you are a woman—and all women if you are a man. “IT” can be a quality of the mind as well as a physical attraction.^[1]  AND

Self-confidence and indifference whether you are pleasing or not—and something in you that gives the impression that you are not at all cold. That’s “IT”. ^[1]

However, the movie also plays with the notion that “it” is a quality which eschews definitions and consequently the girl portrayed by Bow is an amalgam of an ingenue and a femme fatale, with a touch of “material girl”. By contrast, her rival is equally young and comely, and even rich, blonde and well-bred to boot, but she simply hasn’t got “it”. 

Owing to Glyn’s widely publicized pronouncement, the term It Girl entered the cultural lexicon. Bow’s contemporary and friend, the actress Louise Brooks was also widely described as an “It girl”, especially retrospectively. 

Andy Warhol‘s muse, Edie Sedgwick, was dubbed the It Girl in the ’60′s.

So I’m sure by now you’re wondering what the IT girls have to do with the LBD Journey – EVERYTHING. 

We’ve all known someone who just drew people to themselves like magnets.  There was an indescribable quality about them that made you feel good and enjoy being in their presence.  It has nothing to do with money, clothes, or things.  It has everything to do with confidence and liking yourself (or seeming to since I think Edie Sedgwick died of “acute barbiturate intoxication” in 1971 so obviously didn’t have it all together).

I want to talk about the real-deal.  The IT girl that resides inside all of us.  The only person we really have to please is ourself.  I don’t include God and mates right now because those are complementary areas that can be dealt with later. 

When we have no confidence in ourselves, in who we are, it shows.  It comes out in so many different ways, I can’t begin to catalog them all here but sometimes it is in overeating and sometimes accumulating stuff and things. 

Sometimes it becomes drug or alcohol addiction.  Sometimes in is indiscriminate sexual promiscuity (altho how you could tell that nowadays, I’m not sure).  Sometimes it manifests in hating everything about ourselves to the point we can no longer see anything good in and about ourselves. 

IT – that quality of mind that draws.  Do you realize that most of the people we enjoy being around really LIKE themselves?  It isn’t because they are a perfect size or body type.  It isn’t the perfect hair or face.  It is as simple for them as looking in the mirror and saying, “I like this person I’m looking at.”  

We all have self-worth.  Sometimes people mistakenly interchange the word self-esteem with self-worth – but we are ALL worth something.  Self-esteem, on the other hand, is something that can change; it can become battered and bruised through life experiences and OPO (other people’s opinions).

The experience of OPO may be something we take to heart and use to define who we think we are – nothing.  It is like in a relationship where a boyfriend doesn’t want you and dumps you.  Instead of thinking, “his loss” we think, “What is the matter with ME?”

There was a time, during my earlier ”before Alpha Hubby” days, that I discovered I was valuable and precious – special.  I may be great only to myself (and God) but I learned I was a pretty doggoned neat person in spite of OPO.  In that knowledge, I learned to use “talk to the hand” (figuratively) - if someone did not view or treat me as valuable and precious, they no longer deserved or had access to my life space.   See ya!

I learned that NO ONE has a right to treat me badly or make me feel less than good about myself.  I learned that if they didn’t want me, BIG HAIRY DEAL.  Sure, it hurt, but it no longer defined me, especially as a loser.  I learned to move on (although in the 12 years before I met Alpha Hubby there was only one loser that I am so so so so so so glad moved one.  Oh MAN am I glad he dumped me.  He ended up being psycho!).  *Ahem* moving right along…

The point.  No matter what we look like, no matter how much we weigh, no matter who likes or doesn’t like us, no matter WHAT – we are all IT girls and have a right to be treated that way.  NO ONE has the right to treat you badly and as less than OK.  NO ONE NO ONE NO ONE.  Not a parent, not a significant other, not a friend.  NO ONE, OK?

To all of you who follow this blog, please take a minute and look in the mirror and say to yourself, “YOU are an IT girl, and don’t you forget it!”  Then sing to yourself – “You are so beautiful to me!”

I’m an It Girl, You’re an It Girl, She’s an It Girl, We’re all It Girls – wouldn’t you like to be an It Girl, too??

.

You Are So Beautiful, Joe Cocker

Since I am off doing some non-internet work, this post is a re-do of a previous post.

Copyright © 2010 Nan C Loyd
All rights reserved

(I am going to be posting a few posts from my now defunct website, joy-café for the next few posts.)

I always thought I’d live this grand, huge, bigger-than-life life; one full of adventure, thrills, and amazing romance. I wanted to travel again.  Being an army brat, we moved every 1-2 years since I was born until my sophomore year in high school.  I didn’t like living in one place very long – I wanted to explore!  I wanted to try different careers.  I wanted to go anywhere I wanted to at the drop of a hat.  I wanted to LIVE BIG.

I managed to live BIG (in my eyes) until the day I became a single parent at 28.  My world became a little narrower then.  At first, before he was born, I thought, “Well, I’ll get my real life back when he’s 18 and leaves home.”  I wasn’t thinking with any reality-based information, that’s for sure.  

Then it happened.  While pregnant came that first time when he kicked.  And I knew.  The awe of that moment changed everything and I knew I was getting ready to experience something I could never have imagined until it became reality.

When I met my son in person, there was nothing else to see from that point on.  My world narrowed down so pinpoint small, there was only the wonder of this baby.  There was no more desire to live the way I used to – selfish, self-centered, me-me-me.  I discovered that this narrow little world was an amazing and wonderful place to live.  

I would have missed a true miracle if I had not sidetracked into this world with this boy.  Just the marvel of this little being discovering everything fresh and new in his world, and being able to look through his eyes at it, is something I will forever be grateful to God for.  Well, maybe not the spiders, worms and bugs part.  But still.

After awhile, we expanded our world by meeting and marrying a knight in shining armor.  That changed the entire family dynamic in our little world.  It developed into fresh learning experiences and crisp new joys.  Watching as a child adapted to his heart’s desire – a daddy – was another time in my life’s history I will thank God for forever.  You can actually feel your heart melt.

Soon, life changed in 2001 as the child grew up, graduated, moved out, and developed his own life of living BIG.  My world expanded a little more with newer freedoms and a new privacy with a knight I’d never truly been alone with until then.  Life was even better.  Boy, was it!  We were getting to live bigger & bigger!

Mom had a light stroke in 1999.  Then my dad died in 2004.  As time passed by, my world became narrower and smaller.  Mom became even more dependent on me and soon incapable of living without a bit of help. 

I live in a very small world now.  This world consists of a small town, a small job, a small circle of friends, and a small life.  Every decision I make has to be worked out with my mom in mind.  Vacation?  Make sure she has someone available to help her.  Go to town?  Make sure she doesn’t need anything from the grocery store.  Bills?  Write them out so she can sign the checks.  (She did reach the point I couldn’t go on vacation; she couldn’t make coffee or cook, bathe, or the basic things… they slipped out of her grasp one by one.)

But you know what?  I’m grateful I have learned to develop a different relationship with mom.  It may not be the same one we used to have, but I enjoy her and treasure the time we have together since I know that this time is coming to an end someday soon.  Each day is valuable and precious, even if there are times of frustration.  She adapted to living without dad and I adapted to living with a mom who is no longer that strong, independent woman she was.

And I learned that the same amazing and life altering first thing that changed my so-called BIG life, becoming a parent, is now helping me enjoy my so-called smaller life.  Because of his relationship with his gram, that son helps me with her.  They have their own special world where he is not only grandson, he is taxi driver, house cleaner, gardener, bill payer, lawn care pro, and chief cook and bottle washer.  Unconditional love at its most powerful.  (He eventually became her full time caretaker, with the exception of the personal things I had to take care of.) 

I have this huge life, really, because love is huge.  It may look small to the outside world, but my life is amazing.  I have the love of my best friend and knight in shining armor, Alpha Hubby.  Who knew I’d find a perfect and a true love in a small town?  I have a few true friends and I have Joshua.  Joshua, the child I could not imagine a life without.  Joshua, who champions his gram, is developing his own knightly character.

Because of the love of a child for his gram, I have seen a love that is indescribable.  It is pure and it is real.  It is protective and it is hard-working.  I am so proud of him.

You know what?  What I thought of before as a BIG life, wasn’t.  How could it have been a BIG life if I had never even experienced real love and seen true unconditional love in action through both Alpha Hubby and son?

Live every day joyously.  No matter how big or how little you think your world is, it is important to celebrate where you are, right now.  LIVE TO THE FULLEST, LIVE BIG, EVERY DAY!

And p.s. – Alpha Hubby and I are now living a bigger life, getting into new and wonderful adventures.  We are a little more free to travel (those cows need someone to feed).  We are walking in new dreams and having different kinds of fun.  But I will forever take with me the lessons learned when I felt my life was so small.

What A Wonderful World, Louis Armstrong

Copyright © 2008 Nan C Loyd
All rights reserved. .

Love is listening to obscure bits of information about movie characters that he could not care less about but acts as if he does.

Love is watching a move 100 times with him just because he loves it.

Love is watching a black and white movie he can’t stand because she loves oldies… a lot.

Love is believing in their dream, no matter what it is.

Love is making time for what he needs, to feel secure.

Love is going to a job day in and day out, to support the family.

Love is telling her she’s all that when she doesn’t feel all that.

Love is telling him why she loves him, specifically.

Love is singing to him simply because he loves her voice.

Love is dressing to please her (or him) simply because you love.

Love is trying to fix things when she just wants to talk.  He wants to fix because he’s programmed that way and he wants to make it better for her.

Love is knowing he can’t fix it so just giving up and listening to her.

Love is knowing he can’t help but try to fix and patiently reminding him she just wants to talk.

Love is being spontaneous in its expression.

Love is deciding to love even when they don’t act lovable.

Love doesn’t keep score.  Love will decide to overlook (forgive) perceived wrongs and give up hurt feelings.

Love is taking care of yourself because you want to love him or her a long, long, long time.

Love doesn’t rub it in when he says, “I’m sorry.”

Love always, always always looks for the best in the other. 

Love is seduction.

Most of all, Real Love is unforgettable if you will only remember:

Remember when you first realized how much you cared?

Remember what you loved about them?  Specifically?

Remember when they took your breath away?

Remember when you could talk on the phone for hours?

Remember when just being with them satisfied something deep down in your soul?

Remember when you did something they liked (like a hobby) even if you weren’t wild about it?  You just wanted to be with them?

Remember when every word out of their mouth was golden? Words to write in your diary; words to remember forever?

Remember keeping their love letters, safely tucked away?  (Get them back out and re-read them.  You’ll remember a lot.)

Remember your promise to love always?

Real Love looks past human foibles, forgives and loves on purpose.

Real Love is remembering… then working hard to protect The Remembered.

Real Love is unconditional and Real Love never gives up on the other person.

.

And baby, no matter what, I would be bankrupt without your love.

Real Love is you. 

And it is true

It is incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I am
Unforgettable, too.

.

Here is a really funny but informative post I highly recommend for those wanting to keep those home fires burning hot and passionately – Pamela at Road to Joy – Couples that Make you Want to Puke

Unforgettable, Nat King Cole

(I’m working on shutting down my other website/blog and bringing the files and posts to this blog & corresponding website.  I am using a few of those posts here until I’m done unpacking and reorganizing my house and website!)

What’s in a name?

My name is not unique.  It was heartbreaking when I was younger to learn that my name came from a can of vegetables.  Apparently, there used to be a brand called Nancy Lee.  Isn’t that just sad?  I wanted to be named some exotic non-ordinary name.  My pregnant mom wanders through a grocery store and finds my future name on a can of green beans in the vegetable aisle?!

When I was a sophomore in high school, we again moved to a new town.  I had a chance to reinvent myself.  Our class had several “Nancy’s” in it, so when it came to signing up in each class, I cut off the “cy” and became “Nan.”  That was many moon’s ago – more than I’m going to share with you, nosy.  Needless to say, I’ve been a Nan longer than I was ever a can of vegetables… errr – Nancy.

I’ve been Nan so long, I don’t even recognize myself as a Nancy and if I were walking down the street and someone hollered out “Hey Nancy” I’d never realize they were talking to me.  It sounds too foreign – even the IRS sent my forms each year to Nan.  My inner name is Nan no matter what people call me on the outside.  It is ingrained to the point that no one can take it away from me.

So what actually is in a name?  Our identity.  The name we are comfortable with is what is important and no one can take it away from us, even if they refuse to call us by our name.  Even more important is that who we are is tied up in our inner name.

It’s like when someone called my son stupid in elementary school.  He’d come home, full of indignation and said, “MOM! So-in-so called me stupid!”  I’d say, “Well, are you stupid?” “Well, nooo,” he’d reply, “NO, I am not stupid.”  So then I say (isn’t this fun?), “Well I guess that makes so-in-so a liar, huh!  And we never believe what liars say, right?”  Light bulb!  “Ohhh, right!,” he’d reply, then go on his merry way, satisfied.

So what are you calling yourself?  (well, you knew there was a point to this post, right?) 

Is your inner voice calling you… stupid?  A failure?  disorganized?  overweight?   slow?  depressed?  stressed?  fat?  dumb?  poor?  ugly?  incapable?  a mess?  You are the only one who can change your name, inside and out, just as I did in waaaay back in high school.

Sure, you may have to fight others to make them accept your new name, but you can do it – and you can ignore them! 

It is a fact that we become what we believe inside and what we call ourselves, inside and out.  When you are talking to yourself (what? I’m the only one??)… when we are talking to ourselves, what do we say?  We mess up something and we say “Oh ______” - what?  What do you say?  “Oh you dummy?”  “Man, you are so stupid!”  “What a screw up?”  “I must be losing my mind?”  “I can’t ever do this right!”  “I’m never going to lose this weight!”  “Nothing ever works for me.”  “I am SUCH a loser!”

Our inner voice is far stronger than we know and believe.  No matter what someone calls us on the outside, our inner voice is the one we really believe.  Trust me.  When Alpha Hubby used to say, “You look beautiful” I’d make this raspberry sound, because really?  My inner voice knew I didn’t look beautiful.  It frustrated him to no end.  To him I was beautiful and he didn’t like that I didn’t believe him.  But even if I did look beautiful, my inner voice said, “Nah, look at that or look at this” – something that made me feel ugly.  Zit, wrinkle, pudge, high forehead – whatever.

I think we should make a decision that from today forward, we are going to work on this.  We are going to begin by making a determination to only call ourselves positive names – ones we need to believe – ones we want to be.  It takes practice.  It takes tuning our ear to hearing what we really say about ourselves.

HI!  My name is Nan.  My name is also organized.  My name is healthy and fit.  My name is thankful.  My name is joyful.  My name is disciplined.  My name is wealthy.  My name is successful.  My name is complete!  My name is “wow am I an excellent organized disciplined amazing housekeeper!!” (Ha! Hahaha)…. ok I’ll have to work on that one.

JOY is becoming the best you can be – and it starts right there, inside you!

*What’s Your Name, Don and Juan
A Boy Named Sue, Johnny Cash

(Older post from my other website Joy-Cafe.com archives; I’m working on #1 goal to get totally unpacked by the end of January. I’ll be back with live content when I have time!)

There are so many things we take for granted.  The sad truth is that with most of them, we don’t even know we are taking them for granted.

Take the internet.  Sure, some of us will admit we are slightly addicted.  We just don’t know how bad it is until we can’t get onto the internet exactly when we want to.

The other day we had thunderstorms all day long.  My connection to the internet was intermittent.  I spent some time working on an email note and when it was time to send it, there was no connection.  My USB light was blinking which means death to the nice long note – because I hadn’t saved it or sent it to draft.  I know lost it because I saw that dreaded “page not found.” UGH.

This morning Alpha Hubby woke me up before he left for work to tell me there was NO water.  This means that somewhere along the water line, there was a leak.  No water!  I needed to wash my hair.  I needed to make coffee.  I needed… oh so many things.  It is so amazing what you realize you do with water when you don’t have any.  Laundry, coffee, dishes, flushing, drinking, and most important of all, brushing teeth!

And as much as Alpha Hubby mocks me for this, I did have water.  I always keep 3-4 gallons (in bottles) on hand for moments just like this one.  He pokes at me because he wants to make sure I don’t go back to being a packrat – that person who has cases of toilet paper and paper towels, and huge stashes of emergency supplies “just in case we need them.”

I’m not that bad anymore but I NEVER take toilet paper for granted.  Trust me.  There were times in the past when napkins and tissue were put in use and I always swore, shaking my fist at the toilet… um, in the air…  ”As God is my witness, as God is my witness… I’ll never be without real toilet paper again!  No, nor any of my folk.  If I have to lie, steal, cheat, or kill.  As God is my witness, I’ll never be without toilet paper again!”** 

*Ahem*  Shades of Scarlet O’Hara!  No, I don’t keep cases on hand (but mom did and she didn’t live far from me!), but I always have a pack or two so that I am never without again.  Ever.

So anyway, taking things for granted – the worst thing we take for granted is our loved ones.  We often treat others better than we do our own family members.  It’s like, because we are in the same family, they should put up with our rudeness while we are unfailingly polite to total strangers.

Our loved ones are to be more valuable and precious to us than anyone else on the face of this earth.  We should look at them and always remember what it is we love about them – AND like.

We should protect them by never talking badly about them.  We should praise them both in public and to their faces.  We should value them as something worth taking care of – far more than we do our houses or cars!

We do live in a wonderful world.  There is so much around us that we should value and appreciate.  There are things you’d really miss if they were gone.  Don’t take them for granted!

Try to think of five things today that you take for granted – then remind yourself why you are grateful about it.  Or how about electricity?  Imagine having to use kerosene lamps again.  Toothpaste or deodorant?  Think how awful it would be in this world without them!  Your dog?  Your car?  Refrigerator?  Running water?  A person?  Then tell them how much you appreciate them. 

Baby?  THANK YOU for loving me!

**Quote from Gone With the Wind, paraphrased

Song: Smokey Robinson “I Love Your Face“

They say to write well, it is important to write about what you know best.  To be true to yourself.  To stay within certain boundaries in order to create writing that is succinct and clear.  I think sometimes we struggle because we really don’t know our voice at all, because inside we aren’t sure who we are anymore. 

Then along comes a thought, “I used to be her!”

You know that time right before you really wake up when you have this really brilliant thought?  But if you don’t write it down, you’ll lose it?  And it will bug you the rest of the day because you know it was THE #1 most amazing thought you’ve ever had?? 

Sometimes at that near-awake moment, I have great one-liners or words running through my head. Sometimes those thoughts are something I end up fashioning into a perfect post or article.  Sometimes it is just a thought like an answer to a question I’d had the evening before.  Then sometimes it is something deep inside me, trying to get out.

No, not like that guy in Alien.

The other morning I awoke to the thought, “I used to be a bohemian-pseudo hippy-type free flowing person.  Where did that person go?  I used to be her!”

I say pseudo because, by definition of the time I lived in back then, most of hippies I knew were “oh wow man, that’s some mellow stuff man and I’m so hungry and wow do you think that cop knows what’s in the baggie I have under the seat?  Oh man, oh man, I bet he does.  Bummer, what am I gonna do??  Huh? What? Oh wow. This is some mellow stuff. I’m so hungry” and running around half naked, skinny dipping, sleeping with any human that was willing, calling it Free Love. 

I wasn’t quite THAT free.  Note for later post: nothing is free and that sure wasn’t.  There were repercussions.  I wasn’t free at all.  And I didn’t inhale or exhale!  *Really*  Therefore, I wasn’t a genuine hippy.  And no, for your information I was too uptight to skinny dip.  At least in a group.

Anyway, what I did mean was that I was so relaxed and in love with life.  I wasn’t afraid of anything!  I just knew nothing was impossible and great things were in store for me every day!  I believed the best was in everyone I met (I didn’t say I was smart).  I couldn’t wait to wake up and discover what was going to happen each day.  I wore the flowing dresses, twirling around in the fields of crimson and clover and flowers, writing poetry I still understand 30 years later – those words instantly taking me back to that exact moment I penned them.

I was an artist painting with my watercolors every brilliant thing that struck my fancy; listening to music that I had NO idea what the lyrics meant.  Actually then I was more into Otis Redding than Rolling Stones – mellow grooves, soul or R&B.  I was so glad to get out from under the strict thumb of my parents that I went breathlessly nuts with freedom.

So where did that person go?  How did she get to be this person who is struggling with excess weight and not quite as confident as she used to be?  How did she turn into me?  I want to find her!

I do! I want to find her and get back the best of her attributes from that time.  I want to go twirling in that field of flowers again!  I just happen to have some in front of my house – no, not the one with cows and cow patties in it; that would just ruin a real twirl.  The other one.  Maybe it’s too cold outside right now but I can find that person again, who wasn’t afraid of anything.  Except stepping in cow patties.

I know a lot of my issues stemmed from things that happened in my past – bad things done or said to me.  I developed a lot of fears, scars and baggage that slowly ate away at my confidence.  So many of us have had this happen.  Sometimes it only takes a few negative words from someone whose opinion we really valued to eat at our confidence until we lose our self and who we thought we were.  Sometimes there has been violence that’s hard to get over.  And while humans are resilient, sometimes it takes awhile.

I was still skittish when I met Alpha Hubby.  Even after all the years that had gone by, I still flinched if he raised his hand in an expressive movement while talking.  I jested in the About Me that I was waiting for him to turn into the psycho axe-murdering killer I knew he could secretly be, but really?  I was waiting for him to turn.  And what did he do?  He just kept loving me.  Just kept believing in me.  Just kept telling me I was amazing and my dreams were valid.  Just kept putting his palm on my cheek and telling me that he could feel my love for him.

He kept loving my stories, stole my artwork, fell in love with my singing.  He waited while I worked through deep seated fear issues (it’s nice to be able to sit in the passenger seat peacefully).  He never got impatient with me.  He kissed my tears away when I had a nightmare.  He helped me work through my daymares and trust issues.  He just kept loving and loving and loving and loving me.  He still loves that strongly to this day.

I truly believe God sent him to help me put me back together again, only better because I have his true and real love.  And that’s why I write so much about him and his incredible love.  Because it is what I know best.

He has helped me heal.  He has helped me discover who I can be when there is unconditional love.  He has helped me change the view I had inside me, how I saw myself.  He has been there, rock solid in his love for me no matter what.  I know that even after all this time I still have a few little tiny issues it is time to deal with.  But I know with his amazing love, I am going to keep working on finding the parts of that woman who are still missing, and I will get her back.  I will be brave.  I will not fear.  I will be a bold as I was when I was in my 20’s.  I will dance and twirl in that field of flowers.  Only this time I won’t be alone!

This song says it all – he has a way.  Lyrics HERE.

Most people have heard of the movie, “A Christmas Story.”  

The film is about nine-year-old Ralphie Parker who only wants one thing for Christmas:  an official “Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time.”  The plot revolves around Ralphie’s overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles to his owning the precious Red Ryder BB gun.

In the end, faith and hope prevail and he finally gets the official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-short range model air rifle – a BB gun.

So for my little short Christmas Story, I want to tell you about a girl who met a guy who loved the girl completely, totally, unconditionally.  It is about a girl who got the best gift ever!  The plot revolves around the girl’s overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles to achieving her wildest dream, true love.  And no, this is not a fairy tale. 

Once upon a time, there was a girl who’d been single for twelve years.  She had told God that she would never marry again, ever, never, ever, unless He wrote in the sky, “Girl, this is the one I have for you!”  And we all know how often THAT happens.

Two weeks before the girl and boy met, a total stranger told the girl, “God said for me to tell  you that you will meet the one He has for you in the next two weeks.”  He also told the girl a lot of details like, “When you do meet him, don’t share that with anyone” and “You will be happier than you’ve ever been in your entire life.”  Okaaaaay.  But the girl did sit down and type up everything he told her.  Hope prevailed while common sense said, “Huh?”

The girl and boy met one day, at work (which frowned on office relationships, thus the “don’t tell”).  It was a few days before the girl’s birthday.  By that time, she had almost forgotten about what that stranger said so she wasn’t thinking about it.  Her guard wasn’t up.  

The boy and girl chatted in her cubicle.  It came out that he was being stalked by an evil witch who decided he would be her next husband.  He asked the girl to be his fake date to the church Valentine banquet to get this evil witch off his trail.  Of course the girl said yes because she had a stalker once, too.  It’s so nice to have things in common right off the bat!

By the time our boy and girl went to the banquet, they were secretly engaged.  She had an engagement ring on a golden chain around her neck.  (Well until they told people, she couldn’t quite wear it in public now, could she?!) Seven weeks to the day after they bumped into each other in the office, they were married in a small evening service.  When God writes it in the sky, you might safely take a chance!

Sixteen years and 9 months ago the girl met and fell in love with her Knight in Shining Armor.  In all these years, his armor has never tarnished.  He loves the girl so boldly and unconditionally that she sometimes wonders what’s the matter with him!  HE loves her.  He LOVES her.  He loves HER!

It is so breathtaking that sometimes she still sits in awe and wonder at how good God was, to bring this boy across her pathway.  And at times, when she comes across the notes she wrote after the total stranger told her those things, she is amazed how true everything he said was and how it all came to pass!

She is happier than she has ever been in her life.  Her cousin, Cinderella, had nothing on our girl when it came to drama and evil step mot… er…  talking mice? evil cats? singing “In my own little corner, in my own own little chair I can be whatever I want to be“? exes?   The girl can’t even describe it sometimes because it is hard to wrap the mind around the fact that 16 years later, he still loves her madly, passionately and completely – more so, actually. 

In the end, faith and hope prevail and she finally gets the one thing she always wanted:  to be loved unconditionally by a hero.  True Love.

Baby, thank you for 16.9 Christmases, each better than the rest – for 16.9 years of unbelievable love – sometimes warm and fuzzy, mostly hot and passionate!  Thank you for adventures, oceans, snowmen, seashells, laughter, and all my wishes coming true, in you.  You are so much better than a “Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time”!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, BABY!!

Posting a semi-previous post until I get time to write!

So I almost got in a fight with my Christmas tree last night. We have a new tree and I am just not sure I like it yet.

We got one that is flocked.  That makes everything look different.  It is pre-lit with white lights.  It also came with these clear plastic dangly things held on to the ends of the branches by plastic string.  They’re supposed to be little decorations.  I call them… well, I can’t say that on here.  Grrrr.

I put blue lights on the tree, intending to go with a blue and silver theme this year. Something was missing. I put red lights on it and then felt like saluting the tree.  I had a red, white and blue tree.  Not quite what I had in mind.  I put blue and silver rope around the tree.  Now it just looked cheap and garish.  I felt like I needed to put it on a street corner so it could earn the money back we’d spent on it.  

Every step of the way, those dangly things caught onto everything – including my clothing – and fell off or created a tangled mess.  Then there were gaps in the tree and I couldn’t make the branches bend to cover the holes.  I stuck huge silver and blue balls in there but it just looked stupid.  I finally got mad and took everything off the tree, wrestling those dangly things all the way.  My intention was to re-do the red and blue lights (below is 2008 year’s tree).

Hubby came in and asked, “What ARE you doing??”

I replied that I was preparing to burn the tree down.

He was, understandably, concerned, “The heck you are.  You are NOT burning down that new expensive tree.”

I knew that but still.  So I replied, “And I am getting ready to cut all those stupid dangly things off because they tangle in everything I put on or near the tree, including me.”

His mistake, “Oh no, you’re not! You are not going to do that either.”

Oh NO???  Was that a challenge I could meet?  And win?  Yes!  I promptly got scissors and began cutting those stupid dangly things off the tree.

Common sense finally prevailed (plus there was a LOT of them) and I stopped cutting them off.  Didn’t matter.  They were propagating on the tree while we were talking and I was cutting.

I explained my problem and he agreed to put the lights back on the tree for me since I am a bit vertically challenged and had been fussing and cussing at the tree, the lights and those blasted dangly things.  I was NOT having a holly jolly Christmas.

He began putting the lights on – I heard a slightly muffled sound coming from behind the tree.  Could that have been a curse word?  Surely not!  But yes!  He had gotten tangled in the dangly things.

HA!  I am vindicated.  

He had actually cut his hand while trying to break off the dangly thing without telling me.  That plastic string is truly amazing stuff.  I rather smugly took my scissors to him.  

So in between the dangly things that are left and spraying canned snow on the green wiring that was so obvious in the white branches, the tree is up.  We even got the branches bent to cover the gaps.  Am I happy with it?  Nope.  Am I done with it?  Yep.  Know why?

Somewhere between the last of the dangly things and some sleep, I awoke this morning with a new attitude. Christmas isn’t about the perfect tree, perfect gift, or perfect decorations.  It isn’t about the perfect food, perfectly wrapped matching presents, throwing a perfect party or having perfect Christmas pictures.

Once we get that down, we’ll have a much better holiday season.  We’ll just let go all the stress and enjoy ourselves.  I am catering my food this year (except for the goose) so that I can spend time with family and not in the kitchen cooking, baking, dish washing, wiping countertops, cooking, baking, blah humbug.

So in the midst of wrestling lights, trees, and dangly things (ho ho ho), I am going to stop and simply ENJOY the season.  Stop and count my blessings.  Take stock and realize I have a lot to be grateful for.  

I know I do – I am sneaking in at night and cutting those dangly things off the tree, one at a time.

(Update Captain’s Log 2010. We are still finding and destroying the enemy dangly things. It has been a long battle and we’ve lost many men in this on-going fight in the galaxy of… oh.  Different story.  But yes, we ARE still battling blasted dangly things.  Here is this year’s version of the dangly thing tree.)