I was thinking the other day about how a lot of people will pick a story from their life to blog about then exaggerate it to make it stronger or funnier or more poignant. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that but I don’t do that. It takes skills I don’t have. What you see (read) is what you get. It is the truth of my life.
Someone once asked me, “Is your Alpha Hubby really like that?” Yes, yes he is. This song could have been written about him:
or here cut and paste: http://youtu.be/xegmdki9krw
They read you Cinderella – you hoped it would come true
That one day your Prince Charming
Would come rescue you
It is kind of funny how we were fed fairy tales when we were younger and we don’t realize how they stick with us as we grow up. Even after life as proven differently, they do. I never felt I needed rescuing but I always thought maybe, just maybe, there was a Prince Charming somewhere out there. Someone who would look at me and really SEE me.
You like romantic movies, you never will forget
The way you felt when Romeo kissed Juliet
All this time that you’ve been waiting
You don’t have to wait no more
I always was, deep down inside – very, very hiding away deep – a romantic. Even after life dealt me some pretty vicious blows, the small, tiny ember of hope, want, maybe even faith, flickered and never quite went out. Outwardly I never believed it could come to pass. Never. But deep down where the truth of whom we really are lives? It never died.
There could be someone who would love me unconditionally, never lie, never cheat, never steal my heart and drop what was left of me by the wayside, couldn’t there?
Then one day after years of toads and frogs, he was there. Leaning up against a work cubicle doorway smiling at me. He asked an innocuous question which led to an hour-long chat fest in my cubicle. By the time he left the cubicle I’d agreed to go, a month later, to a church Valentine party with him. To rescue him from a stalker. I was a little shell-shocked that he’d asked and that I’d said yes, without thinking it out first.
I can love you like that – I would make you my world
Move heaven and earth – if you were my girl
I will give you my heart – be all that you need
Show you you’re everything – that’s precious to me
If you give me a chance
I can love you like that
One evening during one of many long conversations, I explained how someone had once told me I loved too much. I will never forget what he said. He smiled gently and replied, “Well, it is a good thing that I need a lot of love then, isn’t it?”
There were times he would place his palm on my cheek and look into my eyes. That was hard for me. I would feel too exposed, too open, and would always look away. I asked him why he did that. He said that it showed him where I was, what was in my heart.
I never make a promise I don’t intend to keep
So when I say forever, forever’s what I mean
I’m no Casanova, but I swear this much is true
I’ll be holding nothing back when it comes to you
You dream of love that’s everlasting
Well, baby open up your eyes
From the very beginning, he began showing me that I was precious to him. He never played games, he really never made a promise he didn’t intend to keep, he never lied. Ever. His whole focus was on me. His entire goal was to make me, not only happy, but aware of who I was.
You want tenderness (tenderness)
I’ve got tenderness
And I see through to the heart of you
If you want a man (want a man) who understands
Well you don’t have to look very far
He spent so much time helping me find my lost self simply because he saw my into heart and wanted me to see it, too. That’s what he told me. He said that that day in my cubicle, God showed him my true heart, the one no other man saw. He saw it and he wanted it, wanted it given to him.
He saw my fears, my hurts, my tears, my hidden gentle woman. He saw the one hidden behind the woman who had to be super strong to survive the life she was living; the one who cried at mushy commercials and romantic movies but never let anyone see. He saw a woman longing to be understood, seen, loved unconditionally. He saw ME. And he loved me. And he actually said to me: “I can love you like that. Hook your dreams up with mine. I will take care of your heart. I will protect and cherish you. Trust me and I will never drop you.”
And for 19 years, 5 months, 17 days, 4 hours, he has kept his words and promises.