Warning: disgusting gushy mushy sickingly sweet lovey dovey ahead. Proceed with caution.
Many people have asked me about my relationship with Alpha Hubby. I truly am a blessed woman and he really is as amazing as he sometimes comes across in these posts.
But. He really is only human and I have been a shrieking fishwife at times. No, no, it’s true. I know that is very hard to believe because I am such a (ahem) n-i-c-e person but there are times… Yet he always (with maybe one exception in 18+ years) remains calm. Even that one exception, he *gasp* raised his voice in frustrated anger. Imagine that – once in 18 years. Did I say this man is patient? ’Tis true.
In Our House, you could say it took awhile for my trust to develop. He always remained calm, steady, the same no matter what I threw at him in fear. He didn’t change; he remained a man in love with me. There was nothing I could do to chase him away and that was the weirdest thing of all. What was the matter with this man??
He was – and is – in love with me. A definitive truth. Amen.
In Our House, he has proven it beyond a shadow of doubt, over and over again. If ever a woman had a man who proved unconditional love to her, it is me. He let me be the scared, *itchy person who had trouble grasping the concept of unconditional love (yes, I grew out of the *itch stage and grew into the madly and confidently in love stage).
In Our House, he lives by a knightly creed. He believes, “Love is an action verb. Without action, there is no love. Love gives.” Then he personalizes it, “It is my goal to give you love; to give to you everything you’ve never been given in your life: all the love you need and deserve, all the support, all the protection. That is what I want to give to you.”
In Our House, he truly is that knight with the creed of walking in honor, truth and love. He is also a warrior, fierce in his protection of me. I needed that. No one ever protected me before. Ever. It angered him sometimes. He believes one should be protected by those who profess love for you. A home should be a safe haven, a protected place one can be themselves in, loved no matter what. No one should be afraid in their home whether physically or emotionally.
In Our House, I can wallow safely in the warmth of his love. Even when he is a wee bit upset with me (smile), I know he loves me; I know I am safe in his love. He isn’t going anywhere. It took such a long, long time to believe in his love, to know beyond shadow of doubt that he really, really loves me. HE LOVES ME. Completely, totally, wholly, in spite of myself. And, I am safe.
In Our House, is it any wonder I am ferocious in protecting that love? I will never, ever badmouth this man behind his back. I refuse to be of those women who sit around mocking and chatting and posting about their men’s perceived bad points, sarcastically laughing at what “men” they are.** I have learned that people live up or down to what you believe about them.
Outside Our House, I have learned that if you continue to entertain thoughts that “he ain’t all that” then that attitude will grow in you and soon all you will see in him is every little thing you don’t like about him. I’ve seen it happen, destroying relationships. I worked with a woman who mocked her marriage to death, until they ended up divorced because of the disdain she developed for him.
In Our House, we have a rule – protect one another against all outside forces, seen and unseen. We do have to stop and remind ourselves once in awhile to revamp and re-up our intimacy, to get things back into perspective when things get in the way of intimacy (like work). We made a deal when we were first married that we would never become roommates. Ever. We would remain lovers and fight for that.
In Our House, we love. We major on that and not on the minor details – the foibles, weaknesses, traits that indicate this is an imperfect human. It is important to focus on the good, to protect and keep that love safe. We fight to remember this is our best friend we are with and keep our mind focused on the good in one another, forcefully tossing out all thoughts contrary to what is good in them. We practice giving to one another but remember it isn’t a gift of love unless it is something they desire. Giving what YOU want to give isn’t really giving. Studying them and figuring out what would bless them, then giving them THAT, that is true heart giving.
In Our House, I am a truly blessed woman and often pinch myself to make sure it isn’t a dream. Even when we both act contrary sometimes, it is far, far better than anyplace I’ve ever been. In Our House, I am loved. Our House – a very, very fine house.
Our house is a very, very fine house
With (10 cows) in the yard
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy ’cause of you
And ah, la,la,la, la,la, la, la, la, la, la, la…..
**I don’t mean those bloggers who make fun of themselves and their relationships in a healthy way. There is a way to laugh at yourselves; then there is a scarcasm that tears down and is meant to point out someone’s faults.