October 12th, 2011

I just read this really good post over at Aesha Online pointing out how few people go into marriage with “forever” in mind.  Go check it out – it’s a great post!

Anyway, it got me to thinking about – who else?  Alpha Hubby and forever.  Many of you know I waited twelve (12!) l-o-o-o-n-g, celibate years for Alpha Hubby.  I wasn’t about to give it up for anything less than forever (and AFTER the wedding).  I’d made a vow to myself. 

And as you know we M*A*G*I*C*A*L*L*Y married 7 weeks later… NOT.  Oh, we did get married 7 weeks later but there wasn’t anything magicical about it.   Well, I lie.  The part where Alpha Hubby and Alpha Son made vows as father and son was pretty awesome and I cried.  But I was shaking in my heels.   I was so a-feart!  Sure, I believe God put us together but that doesn’t mean hoards of past memories didn’t rise up and try to overtake me.  I was almost ready to walk away.

Now fast forward 17.7 years later and I scoff – scoff, I tell you – at my fear.  How was I to know that God actually knew what He was doing?  I know!   Alpha Hubby is truly my prince – my knight in shining armor – my first and last and only true love.  He wasn’t even a frog in disguise.  He is what he was then, only better now.  And boy, am I glad. 

We made a committment the day we married.  We were in this forever (or else).  We didn’t leave any loopholes where we (he) could squirm out.  But I still remember when we were first married I’d say things like, “If you ever cheat on me, that’s it.  I’m outta here.”  He’d agree that this sounded reasonable.  Of course that was fear talking.

About eight months into the marriage, all that drastically changed.  We knew one another better.  We (I) developed more trust.  We were positive divine intervention had put us together.  He came up to me one day and said, “I changed my mind.  If you ever cheat, I will hunt you down.  I will take you out.  We’re in this together, forever.”  How cute!  My husband was going to be stalking me!  All in the name of love.  Awwww.

Hmm.  Something tells me finding that romantic is wrong somehow.   But by golly, if loving him for that is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.  (Snicker)

So now I know that when you make a committment with no loopholes, even when that burning heart means indigestion rather than passion, you are committed to one another (and will find that passion again).  It means a security that can’t be developed any other way.  It means you work together, facing the world hand in hand, ready to take on monsters and bury them.  He slays dragons regularly for us.  I protect our intimacy. 

We can fight without fear but we hate fighting so work hard not to.  No loopholes means we can fight without that “Uh oh, we’re heading for divorce” feeling.  It means “OK, let’s find a way around this difference.”  After some door slamming, cup throwing, immature actions (me) and sulking, brooding quietness (him).  THEN we work on the differences to create an equitably suitable and agreeable compromise… 

I’m right and he’s wrong.  The end.

He has NO choice.

Heh. Heh. Heh.

Suck up time:  Baby?  Tonight?  In the bedroom?  Candles?  Romantic music?  Clothing optional?

*Actual note written last night on paper towel.

Let’s Get It On, Marvin Gaye

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 12th, 2011 at 3:19 pm and is filed under All Blogs, Nan's Blogs, Romance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

19 Love Bytes to “Let’s Get It On, Forever”

Momma's Soapbox Says:

I’m so writing Hunk one of those notes……leaving him no options! LOL
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Anna Chisholm Says:

I really love that line about reaching a compromise. You’re right and he’s wrong. I laughed loudly and now everyone in the office is looking at me like I’m not all there. And I love your note. No choices. that’s a good one. Can’t wait to tell Mr. Jeans.

Sara Says:

I loved reading your blog! The love note was awesome :)
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Grace Says:

awww. There’s nothing better than a love note written on a paper towel. And I love that “no” isn’t an option!
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Life In A Pink Fibro Says:

I love this! So many people think that romance is all about those early days of heady passion and gestures. I think it’s this. The forever bit.

Thanks for popping by the Fibro.
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littlepatti Says:

The “perfect match” is possible. Sometimes it needs a little tweeking at the start, and commitment rules the day.
I wish young people could know that. Some countries are discussing 2 year marriage contracts. That should put the legal system out of business. I haven’t thought that through yet, but it could work.
In Quebec, Canada, we have the highest number of common law marriages. Of course the law does not protect anyone properly in that situation, but it is a trend away from the traditional.
Bravo for your success!

bluecottonmemory Says:

I think I kept in the back of my mind that if God brought us together – that we should work through it and not second guess. We’ve got a lot in common (cup throwing a loooonnnngggg time ago – and it was my very favorite Bybee pottery punch bowl cups). I like forever:) That when I’m 105, I’ll be with my BFF!
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winsomebella Says:

I love that song. And your blog. You make me hopeful :)
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Alpha Says:

I will find you!!!!!
Oh, invitation accepted after I get out of the attic.

Tracy Wilson Says:

Nan- You are such a great blogger- thanks for being there today when I REALLY needed you:)
Tracy
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Cate Says:

Hi Nan,

it’s been too long between visits and I have missed you and your wonderful posts!

You have a good man. So have I. We are truly blessed women.

xx

Classic NYer Says:

“If you ever cheat, I will hunt you down. I will take you out. We’re in this together, forever.” How cute!

Haha! Sounds like me: If you ever hit me, I’ll pick up a blunt object and bludgeon the shit out of you but I’ll still love you…
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Nancy Says:

Ohhhh, that sounds so like me in the beginning! I was always saying “do you love me?” He’d sigh and say you know I do! I don’t wonder anymore and I love, love, love having a lifetime to make up from a fight! :)
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Bella Says:

Oh my goodness, Nan! The paper towel, Marvin Gaye’s “Lets get it on” I can’t stop chuckling! How delightful it must be to be in such a committed relationship as the one you and Alpha Hubby are in! I worship at your shrine. I really do! :)

Sue Says:

For me it was that paper towel. What a unique way to keep your marriage on track: don’t give them a choice but to answer right! Such a cute thing to do.

Merz Says:

I love this song! Gosh, I haven’t heard it in years. What memories that brings back. You sure snuck up on me with that ‘I’m right and he’s wrong’ because I thought it was going to be some deep advice and instead I spit coke all over myself. Thanks a lot. No, really! Thanks a lot. I love your posts!!

Theresa Sonoda Says:

Well, now I’ll have that song in my head the rest of the day, and it won’t do me one bit of good. Just sayin….
HOwever, I loved this post because you write raw and honest and “in love”.
I will venture to say that not many people have what you and Alpha have. You are right to cherish it. And thanks for sharing some of the gushy with us. We love it! And? We love you!
xoxo’s
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Alexandra - BeingMama Says:

That’s hilarious “If you ever cheat I will hunt you down”. I really love your writing style

http://beingmama.com/
http://ohsoprettylife.blogspot.com/
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My Inner Chick Says:

–Nan,

You are such a blessing to so many people…ME included.

Yes. God brought you and Alpha together. He knew it was time for you to be cherished & adored.

Yes. He Knew it was time for you to be with your Prince.

Big Smooch**** from MN.
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